It's been a couple of weeks now since I finally tapered right off of the antidepressant I was taking. I'm still having some withdrawal symptoms, but they're becoming more infrequent as time goes on. The "brain zaps" bother me most when I'm tired or trying to go to sleep.
So here's what I've found now that I'm drug free:
1). I have emotions again. Before I felt a little bit, but my feelings had no depth. I've had a couple of moments where I've suddenly realized that I felt happy. Weird, I know. It's nice to feel things again. This can also be a bit of a pain because I find myself tearing up over sappy things like commercials. I don't outright cry, but my eyes get watery and I feel like I'm going to start weeping.
2). I have more energy. Maybe it's all the supplements I've been taking, but I'm feeling more energetic. Rather than sit there wishing I felt well enough to clean something or get something done, I'm actually getting up and doing it. I'm trying to be careful and not do too much at once because I don't want to overdo it. Little by little, my house is getting more organized. I'm also becoming more physically active and have been enjoying spending time outside with the girls. I've been picking up some of the winter detritus from our garden. I've got big plans for the garden this year.
3). I'm still in recovery mode. It might take awhile for the side effects of the antidepressants to be totally gone. I have to remember to cut myself some slack. I will get there, it will just take some time.
Now that I've gotten off of the antidepressants, I'm going to spend more time and energy on getting healthier by losing weight. My weight has really gone out of control over the last while and I'm ready for it to come off. I'm exercising again and trying to pay more attention to what I'm eating. There is so much information out there on what is healthy and so many different plans around that I feel a little like I'm watching a tennis match. Eat this, don't eat this, never ever eat that. I believe that I can do this! If I can get off of antidepressants after 9 years, losing the weight should be a walk in the park. OK, so I know it won't be easy, but I know I can do it. One day at a time, one baby step after another, I will get there. I have to.