Day 4: My Breakfast for almost 5 years
Originally uploaded by choking sun
OK, before anyone freaks out thinking that I'm going to be unstable without my antidepressants, let me assure you that I have talked to my doctor about doing this. We came to the conlusion last year that because it was so close to the holidays, it would be wise to wait to reduce the Effexor XR. So that was the plan. Then my grandfather got sick in January and passed away in February and I decided I wasn't ready to make any changes.
Why now? Well, I've been on this medication for about 6 1/2 years. That's a long time (especially when I was told by my original doctor that I'd only need it 6 months--ha!). Anyway, I've been on a lower dose before and I felt pretty good at that level. The only reason I changed it up was that I was going through the post partum thing again and needed the extra boost. Now my youngest is 3 and I'm ready to make a change.
Don't get me wrong. I know I need to take this medication, but at this level, it's hard to feel. It levels out my emotions so there's no big dips, but there's also no ups. Everything feels kind of flat. And I'm ready to feel again. So, following my doctor's suggestions, I've reduced my dosage by 1/3. We'll see how it goes and if I can't cope, I'll readjust.
Today is day 2. Yesterday was probably not the best day for me to have started. It was fine in the morning, but then DH was late with the car for me to get to work. He had gotten a flat tire and had to replace the whole thing. I had to take a different route to work (on the toll highway), and then the traffic was nuts and it just wasn't good. But know what? Even though I was stressed, it wasn't that bad. I had a mild caffeine craving, but survived without it.
So I'm feeling pretty good. I guess I'll just take it a day at a time and see how it goes.
And in answer to my title, nope, I'm not crazy and neither is anyone else who has depression. Depression is something that I have, not something that I am.
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