Back in the Saddle Again!

Yes, it's been almost a year since I last published here. Life has been very busy and a few things have changed. I haven't been following a vegan diet for some time now. It was a gradual change that started with including other foods back into my diet. So you won't find any new vegan info here. I won't remove my old posts because it's been part of the journey. In other news, my husband has just been diagnosed as having celiac disease, so we are diving into the whole gluten free thing. It's a lot of information to digest, but I'm so happy that he finally knows what has been causing problems for him. He's starting to feel much better after eliminating gluten. My kids and I are not completely gluten free, but we've greatly reduced our gluten intake too. It takes a lot of label reading for sure. The reason I decided to post again is that I read an email from Fly Lady last week that said "As the kitchen goes, so goes the rest of the house." And I decided it was time to get back to actually trying to get organized. So, I started tonight by shining my sink. It looks pretty good. Don't worry, I won't post a picture of it. Getting the sink shined is a small step, but it feels like I might be headed in the right direction. I'm trying not to dive in too deep because I start hard and then fizzle out. Instead, I'm just going to try to set up some habits and keep doing them over and over again. I've also been working on my fitness for awhile. I'm doing Online Boot Camp with Jonathan Roche. The biggest thing I've been learning is that fitness is a mental challenge. Being positive and having a positive mind set helps me so much. I'm feeling better and have more energy. The weight is taking a while, but I'm feeling good about it. I'm OK if the weight comes off slowly as long as it comes off and stays off. And that's my update for now. Hopefully you will hear more from me in the near future.

My Best Friend Saved My Life

It's frustrating when you have so many posts you want to write, but you just don't have the energy to do them or just about anything else.  That's where I've been for the last while and I think I finally know why.

I went on an amazing vacation with my best friend this spring.  We live in different provinces, so we don't get to spend a lot of time together, but this time, we went away and had 6 days to be together.  It was an amazing trip!  Here's how my friend saved my life:  she told me that I snored.  No, really.  I didn't know that I snored at all, but it turns out that I do and it's pretty bad.  I thought that maybe it was allergies or something, so while I noted it, I didn't think much of it until I got home and my husband confirmed it.  Then I was flabbergasted.  Why hadn't anyone mentioned it before?

My father has sleep apnea, so I knew that I needed to get things checked out.  I made my husband come with me to see my doctor so that he could talk to how I snore because I really don't know.  The doctor asked him if I ever gasp for breath and hubby realized how serious it was then.  It turns out that I do gasp for breath frequently.  With other information on my sleep patterns, my doctor arranged for me to have a sleep test done.

While I was waiting for the sleep test a number of other things began to make sense.  I'm always tired because I'm not having a sound sleep.  I put weight on easily because I'm not sleeping.  I'm forgetful, headachy, foggy-brained, and sleepy.  Sometimes I have to have a nap just a few hours after I've woken up because I can't function.  Lights started going off all over the place.

I read more about sleep apnea and found out that sleep apnea can cause heart problems and other health concerns.  If my friend hadn't mentioned it, I never would have known that something was wrong and to start looking for answers.

I've gone for the sleep test and that was an experience in itself.  I felt like a part of the Borg Collective with all the wires attached to me.  My technician was great and made lots of little jokes to help to put me at ease.  He explained what the wires were for and what they would be monitoring.  When he came in to unhook me to go to the bathroom, he let me know how I was doing and that he was getting good results.  This helped me to stay relaxed and go back to sleep when I was plugged back in.

I haven't had the results yet as the doctor was called in to the hospital.  Four of this found this information after waiting for the doctor to arrive to the clinic for about 45 minutes.  Oh well.  I go back for my results in 3 weeks (yes, another 3 weeks of waiting!).  I hope to have some answers about whether it is indeed sleep apnea, or if I have another type of sleep disorder.  At this point, I just want to know so that I can begin treatment.

In the meantime, I've started to do some exercising.  I kept stalling out before because I didn't know what to do or how to do it, but I found Jonathan Roche's noexcuseworkouts.com through the FlyLady's team.  I'm using the free program right now and it's something I can actually do.  I haven't lost weight yet, but I was able to get a pair of jeans on easily that was too tight a few weeks before I started, so I'm getting somewhere :)

Hopefully once I know for sure what is going on, I'll be able to start a treatment that will get me feeling better and posting more.



Until then, I say "Cheers" to my bestie. You are the best and I love you!

A 15 Minute Epiphany

I've talked about Flylady a lot because what she says about taking baby steps and using a timer make so much sense.  I'm the kind of person that has to prove the rule wrong though.  It's not always intentional, but when I try things, they don't always work.  And I've tried using a timer on more than one occasion.  I even had to buy a second timer because the first one got lost somewhere in my house (and yes, I know how bad that sounds!).

I've been using a timer more lately and even started using it for my oldest daughter.  She doesn't mind picking up her room or reading a book if she knows that she only has to do it until the timer goes off.  Tonight I made some muffins so that we would have some fresh (somewhat) healthy snacks for our road trip tomorrow.  Once I put them in the oven, my first thought was to get on my computer.  Instead, I put away all the stuff I used, then I decided to wash the dishes since I wanted to stay close to the oven because I haven't made this recipe before.  Now washing the dishes may not seem like a big thing, but it gets to be crazy here.  I am not home most nights for dinner and hubby cooks dinner and feeds the kids, he just doesn't do the dishes afterward.  Instead, the pots get piled around the kitchen and stress me out.

Seriously, I get so angry about these pots and pans sitting there, but I let the stress build instead of doing anything about it.  What a waste of emotional energy!  I got those pots and pans washed and looked at the timer on the muffins.  Guess how much time I spent cleaning the kitchen.  That's right! Fifteen measly minutes.  If I had just done them and gotten it over with, they would have been done, the kitchen would not be a minefield and I wouldn't have been stressed out about it.

Who knew that 15 minutes could make such a difference?  I even did some of my writing in 15 minute blocks this week, alternating with chores I had been putting off.  I will get this clutter tamed, 15 minutes at a time.

Just Finished Shining My Sink. Thanks, Flylady!

Clean Sink
Originally uploaded by taberandrew

Now my sink isn't quite as shiny as the one in the picture, but I suspect my sink is much older than that one. Anyway, I had a bit of a depressed meltdown this weekend. One of those ones where I felt like a fat failure. My house is in chaos, I can't lose weight, I am stressed beyond belief...you get the idea. I was ready to throw in the towel and just let the chaos drown me. I didn't of course.

A good sleep helped a lot. Then I did something I haven't done for awhile. I read my daily Flylady update. If you haven't met the Flylady, I've talked about her a few times in the past. You know what I love about her? She tells it to you like it is, but she gives you encouragement too. The message I read talked about not giving up. Do something something small, work for just two minutes. The point is that you are doing something. She even said that if you shine your sink you'll be amazed how good you feel when you're done.

Well, I did it today. I shined my sink. It's not perfect, but it's empty, dry and a little shiny. It's one bright spot in my otherwise cluttered house. And it's a start. It didn't take very long, but it makes a huge impact on my kitchen and it makes me wonder what another couple of minutes in another spot will do. A few minutes putting away laundry, a few minutes picking up paper for recycling...the possibilities are endless, but my clutter is not! I'm going to tame this clutter, one piece at a time and get it out out out of my house. I do not need all of this stuff dragging me down and making me feel bad about myself. So clutter, you are on notice! Be prepared because I am coming for you!!!

Baby Steps...Big Results!

IMG_1677
Originally uploaded by m a r i s a

You would think that I would learn by now that baby steps aren't big, but they have big results. The dust in my bathroom was bugging me. Cobwebs and dust had settled along the door frame and looked just gross. It bugged me, but I didn't actually do anything about it until today. I got out my Flylady dusters (they've got purple ostrich feathers, so pretty!) and dusted the whole bathroom. It took me under two minutes. Seriously. I let it sit there and bug me and it took almost no time to change it--and that includes "blessing the world" by shaking my duster outside to clean it out.

It's funny how in my mind these jobs can seem so huge, but if I just do something about it, instead of letting it fester, it would be done and I could be on to something else.

So, now that I've had my a-ha moment, what am I going to do about it? Well, first I'm going to try to tackle things rather then let them build up and bug me. And I'm going to try to take an extra baby step every day to address some of the small things around my house whether it is picking up some paper and putting it in the recycling or dusting a room or what have you. If it's this easy to make a big difference, imagine what it will be like when I start to get serious about making each baby step!

I wonder, is this a depression thing? Am I simply overwhelmed and can only see the big picture? Hmmm....rather than sit and muse about it, I'm going to go take a couple more baby steps. Wish me luck!

Catching up

Three girls making a "sandman" at the beach
Originally uploaded by State Library and Archives of Florida

With the cold weather here, I went searching for a picture that showed somewhere warm so I could pretend that I was there too. I liked this one since it shows a "sandman" instead of a snowman. I wish it was warm enough to make a snowman, but the snow we have right now is not the right kind for making snowmen. Oh well.

I'm still working on decluttering the house. It's taking longer than I would have liked, but as Flylady says, it didn't get this way in one day. My biggest trick is keeping a box to put the little one's outgrown clothes in as soon as they come out of the wash. I've also got one in the little one's closet for the clothes that are too small for the big one but too big for the little one. When the box with the little one's old clothes gets full, it gets donated.

I'm also trying to keep our recycling clutter under control, so I got some clear recycling bags to put it in. It keeps it from spreading across the house until pick up day.

The kids are starting to help out more around the house. They are both now responsible for putting their laundry away in their drawers and they collect up their dirty laundry as well. They like to help with filling and emptying the dishwasher too. I'm trying to get them into the habit of putting things away when they are finished with them, but that is an ongoing struggle.

And last but not least, I'm trying to use my Wii Fit more often. I'm enjoying the Wii Fit Plus games. I haven't tried any of the other things on it--the games are just too much fun! And if a workout isn't fun, I won't do it because then it feels like punishment instead.

Now that I think about it, that's probably how the kids feel about cleaning up too. I'll have to make sure to keep cleaning up fun for them.

Getting a Little Fitter and a Little More Organized at the Same Time!

The Coles sisters on a bicycle trip from Montreal to Ottawa, QC-ON, 1916 1916, 20th century
Originally uploaded by Musée McCord Museum

I am nothing if not a multitasker. I'm proud to say that I did some exercise on the Wii Fit tonight. I wasn't going to, but I had to put a load of laundry on so I'd have clean pants for work tomorrow. And since I'm working during the day tomorrow, I wanted to stay up long enough to put them in the dryer. As luck would have it, there was not a load waiting to go in the dryer, and I knew it would only take about 15 minutes to wash the clothes, so I figured I'd spend that time on the Fit. Good choice, huh? Trust me, I had some reading I'd rather have been doing, but I did it.

I had a great time doing the cycling today. I always used to love riding my bike in the country "up north" when I was a kid. There was such freedom in getting to the top of a hill, pedalling like mad and coasting to the bottom. I felt unstoppable! Now on the Wii Fit Plus, I'm not unstoppable. In fact, I discovered that you can, in fact, ride your bike right off the side of the cliff--now that is called research, people! (OK, so it's really called oversteering, but I won't tell if you don't!).

I'm thinking it would be a good idea to set aside some money and get a bike for myself this summer. If I get a trailer, the little one can ride with me and the big kid can ride her own bike (although we're still working on getting her to do that without training wheels).

So, there you go, Flylady is right. You can do just about anything for 15 minutes.

Depression Keeps Kicking Me Down, But I Keep Getting Back Up!

I know I've been a little quiet here lately. The truth is that my depression has been really difficult to cope with lately. I've been so stressed out with finances and trying to keep on top of the house (or to get out from underneath it) and worried about my daughter and having both kids home this summer and working part time in the evening while my husband works during the day and is self-employed. Yeah, just a tad bit stressed (sarcasm intended). When I'm stressed, I do an ostrich impression and bury my nose in a book and try to ignore the stress. It's not the best method, but it keeps me from running around screaming my head off. I'll have to see my doctor soon and get him to check my meds out. Yipee.

I decided today to try to do the Flylady thing again, so I got my kitchen sink emptied. I haven't shined it yet, but that is my goal for tomorrow. I'm taking babysteps here, folks. If I can get myself moving instead of sitting and letting things happen, I feel much better about things. So what if I only accomplish emptying the dishwasher? The point is that I have done something! I'm not going to let this stupid depression win. I'm going to fight it and I'm going to get the better of it in the end. So take that, depression!

So, that's life with Jaye today. I'm actually looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings!

Working out, Wii Fit Style!

Geo. Lurich (LOC)
Originally uploaded by The Library of Congress

No, this is not a picture of me, but I do feel kind of strong and invincible today. I started doing the strength training exercises on my Wii Fit finally. I skip over the pushups and planks, but I'll try them again soon. Right now I'm doing a few of the leg exercises and the jack-knife which is surprisingly a favourite of mine! I opened the challenge the trainer on the jackknife and I've beaten my trainer both times so far--OK, maybe I didn't really buy it when he could only do 10 the first time. Today he wimped out at 20. I was just too stubborn to give in, even though my abs were burning. It's a sense of accomplishment when you feel that burn, isn't it?

I've been spending a lot of my downtime reading this week. I picked up a whole bunch of what I call "fluff" novels at the library. These are fun books that don't go too deep and don't require me to think too much. They're like the sit-coms of the literary world. You don't read them for knowledge or study, you just read them to escape for a bit. So when my little one is watching her videos, I sit down with a book. It's part of taking care of me.

I also had a chat this week with my mom about my frustrations in not being able to get anything done around the house because my little one needs a lot of attention. Mom actually told me to forget about the house and just focus on my daughter. It was an ah-ha moment for me and I realized that the house doesn't need to be perfect (another flyladyism as well), it just needs to be good enough. That doesn't mean that I don't need my husband to pitch in more, but I'm willing to get there gradually.

I even started writing this week! With a pen and paper no less (my personal computer is fried, so I use hubby's in the evening). It felt good to have some inspiration and follow through by writing it down. Nothing may come of it, but it was a creative start for me. And that's my week for now.

Upbeat Me

My last post was somewhat...well, depressing, and I haven't posted to let you know I've been much better since then. I found myself on the way to work the next day thinking that I just couldn't handle it anymore. I caught myself thinking that way and I started to repeat out loud, "I can do this, I can do this." It made a difference because I stopped focusing on the depressing thoughts and got out from underneath my dark cloud.

I'm still working on getting my exercise time in on the Wii Fit. I'm getting really good at the rhythm boxing. The trainer mentioned that you get double points if you hit in time with the music and I'm working on getting my points up there. My high score is 1062 and I'm trying to beat my best score every time--of course, that works a lot better when I get the footing right!

I spent some time and money on me last week and made a trip to the Body Shop to stock up on cleanser, moisturizer and body wash. I was completely out of all three, so it was time for me to get in there for sure. It felt good to be taking care of me, knowing that using the products will make me feel better about me. It was kind of fun to "spoil" myself, even though they are products I needed.

As for organizing, well, I'm not getting very far there. I just can't seem to keep up with the mess. I can get a whole bunch of papers picked up and into the recycling and the next day there is a whole whack more. Where does it end? I'm still trying to declutter a bit at a time though. This month my company is asking us to bring re-useable items in to the office to be donated to a youth center which will use the items in a fundraising garage sale. I'm going to try to find some items to take in every day if I can. That way I'm decluttering and I'm also getting it out of the house--and if I can help someone else with my items, so much the better. Wish me luck!

Getting Organized!

Since I post about the Wii Fit pretty much everyday, I thought I'd post a little video about it here. I wish my house looked as clean as all these other houses where they're using the Wii Fit! Anyway, I have been using the Wii Fit now for a full week--I did a minimum of 15 minutes plus the body test every day. I found it funny that my weight fluctuated quite a bit this week, but as the machine pointed out, I've been weighing in at different times each day.

Organized: I spent some time yesterday emptying out the laundry baskets. I'm really good at getting them washed, dried and folded, but then the baskets sit all week instead of being put away. Sigh. At least it's done for now. What I need to do is spend some time going through our closet and take out clothes that hubs and I are no longer wearing, are really old or just plain don't fit. The T-shirt I'm wearing now I've had since I was in university--and my 10 year anniversary is three years in the past. How sad is that? Time to thin out the closet a bit. That will be one of my focuses this week.

I also went through hubs' receipts that he finallybrought in from the car. Now I have to input them all in my spreadsheet so we can get them out to the accountant to take care of.

Today, I got all Flylady and actually shined my kitchen sink! I've had it done before, but it never lasts long. The idea is that you should start to build the habit by shining your sink every night before bed and by a month, the habit should be well, habit. So, I've got a nice clean and empty sink right now. Hopefully it will stay that way because it makes the whole kitchen look better and it makes me feel less stress. To put it simply, my shiny sink makes me smile.

Day 4 on Wii Fit...

OK, it's not as fun as Day 1 was. Perhaps because I am getting bored? Or mabye because it feels like a "have to" rather than a "want to". Well, it should feel like a have to because I have to get in shape. I have to start taking better care of myself. The truth of the matter is I have depression and that makes even fun stuff feel like a chore sometimes. Of course, my medication contributes to my weight gain. Oh yeah, did I mention I have PCOS (PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrom)? Yeah, I'm just a ray of sunshine tonight. Sorry. It's been one of those days. I'm sure you don't want to hear all about it.

So, rather than be all depressing, I'll talk about why I want to get fit, organized and healthy. I just mentioned I have depression and PCOS. Anti-depressants are known to cause weight gain and since I've been on them for 6 years with no end in sight, I need to get that under control. PCOS is known to also cause weight gain and loss of weight is supposed to help alleviate the symptoms. Then there is diabetes in my family. My brother is Type I and my father, both grandfathers and a handful of uncles are/were Type II. If I'm going to avoid diabetes in the future, I need to get my weight under control now.

My BMI is high, scoring in the Obese range, so I'm just going to keep working at it to get it down. I lost some weight last year using Weight Watchers, but I got a little freaked out when my size went down because I didn't feel like me.

As for organized, I just feel that my CHAOS (Can't have anyone over syndrom--ala Flylady)contributes to my depression. It's hard to feel good about things when everything around you is a cluttered mess. So, I'm trying to build routines and making baby steps to get the clutter gone. It's not as easy as it sounds, but I keep working at it a little bit at a time. It's getting there slowly.

Anyway, on to the Wii Fit today. I was crazy and actually did the Island Lap on the run this afternoon and then tonight I did the short basic run. I'm finding that I have to hold the remote in my hand to get a good pace and I really don't run, it's more of a walk--a fast walk, but a walk all the same. I am a walker anyway, I walk with friends and we've walked in The Weekend To End Breast Cancer together. I've done it twice now, so I have a pretty fast pace when walking anyway. I haven't done a full hour today, but I may do a few yoga poses before calling it a night. I spent time while the wee one was napping doing some of the longer exercises so I could log time that way. And the silly machine says I gained more weight. Figures...I eat better and exercise more and gain weight...story of my life. Anyway, tomorrow is another day and hopefully the scales will show a better story then.

Getting Fit, Organized and Healthy

Sounds like a lot to do, doesn't it? Well, I have big dreams-dreams of being fit by losing weight and getting in shape, of being organized through de-cluttering my life, inside and out and of being healthier in general by eating better. Is it doable? I surely hope so!

You may be wondering how I'm hoping to do all this. Well, I've got a few plans up my sleeve. First off, I asked for a Wii Fit for my birthday and I got one (a few days early, but I'm not complaining). I wanted one for awhile, but I was truly inspired by Julie's story at Cool Mom Guide. So I was very excited to get my Wii Fit today. I read all the instructions before I set it up, got changed into workout clothes and got on. Can I just say that my Mii looked great until they weighed me? Then she blimped out. I'd like to think that it's not a good representation of myself, but I might be wrong. Let's just say that I wasn't all that impressed when my 6 year old said, "Wow! Mama's fat---on the Wii." She was smart to tack on the last bit, don't you think? According to the Fit, my BMI is obese. The good news in all of this is that I had lost about 14 lbs last year using Weight Watchers and I have kept off some of it. I gained back 8 lbs because I stopped following the points system.

Anyway, on to organization. I'm all about the Flylady. I understand her principles, but I haven't been able to put them to practice yet. I'm still working on that--baby steps, as she says. I am working on decluttering, trying to reduce the amount of stuff in my house slowly but surely. It feels so good to be able to give away or donate things that we no longer use and I feel so much better without having to look at these things.

As for getting healthy, that's kind of tied to getting fit. I want to take care of myself better by eating healthier foods so I can lose the weight and be healthier overall.

So that's my plan right now. If you feel like coming along for the ride, I'd love to have the company! I can't promise that it won't be a bumpy ride, but it sure should be interesting!