Side Effects of Getting Healthier

I figured it was time for an update.  I've discovered that there are some side effects to getting healthier.  I've been anti-depressant free for about 4 months now and overall it's been great.  I find that I feel better and now that I feel better, I want to do more.  It took some time, but we got our house mostly organized.  Of course, with 2 kids and a nerd in the house, there is always a sense of chaos, but we're getting there.

I started gardening again.  Before, I didn't have the energy to even think about how to tackle our over-grown garden and allergies kept me from doing much outdoors.  I cleared a big patch out and we planted watermelons, carrots, cucumbers and zucchini  (all seeds we had purchased before with good intentions).   Well, the carrots and the cucumbers decided not to make an appearance, but the watermelons and zucchinis are growing.  Whether we actually get any fruits is another question entirely.

In the garden, I tackled a giant rosebush this week.  This bush was here before we moved in 8 years ago and it has never flowered since we've been here.  There was a lot of dead undergrowth, so I cut it right back and hope that it will spring to life again.  It was a bit of a monster and I have the scratches to prove it.  Next step will be to cut back the lilac bushes that have been growing without being pruned.  Who knew that you needed to prune them?  Did I mention I don't really have much of a green thumb?

One thing that I have been learning is that I tend to forget that I have depression/anxiety.  I went through a really stressful time last month and it made me physically sick.  I was wondering why I couldn't handle the stress and I pretty much had to stop and think about it.  I had been feeling so good that it kind of slipped my mind.  Once I remembered and I cut myself some slack, I started to feel much better.  If it hadn't gotten better at that point, I was just about ready to visit my doctor and have a conversation again.  I'm glad that I didn't need to this time, and I'll be sure to monitor my stress levels a little more going forward.

One day, I want something like this in my garden!

Overall, I'm feeling good and I feel like I'm getting somewhere now.  I'm not sure where exactly I'm going, but that is half the fun!

Burning My Candle at Both Ends

Burn
Originally uploaded by accent on eclectic

I've come to the realization that there are really not enough hours in a day. 24 just doesn't cut it. Of course, it could also be true that I am trying to do to much....nah, that couldn't be it, could it?

OK, yes, that is it. I'm home all day with my kids--and trust me, keeping up with my three year old who has special needs is a full time job in itself. Then I go to work in the evening. Yep. I talk on the phone for 5 hours to people and have to be "on" in order to provide good service (and keep my job). Then I come home, try to go to sleep, stay awake because of stress, post a blog and eventually fall asleep only to wak up and do everything over again.

By the time the weekend comes, I'm completely wiped out. When I went to work today, I could feel the bags under my eyes--not good. My company is all about "work/life balance", but I'm not feeling it right now.

How do other parents do it? Please, share your secrets with me.

Depression Keeps Kicking Me Down, But I Keep Getting Back Up!

I know I've been a little quiet here lately. The truth is that my depression has been really difficult to cope with lately. I've been so stressed out with finances and trying to keep on top of the house (or to get out from underneath it) and worried about my daughter and having both kids home this summer and working part time in the evening while my husband works during the day and is self-employed. Yeah, just a tad bit stressed (sarcasm intended). When I'm stressed, I do an ostrich impression and bury my nose in a book and try to ignore the stress. It's not the best method, but it keeps me from running around screaming my head off. I'll have to see my doctor soon and get him to check my meds out. Yipee.

I decided today to try to do the Flylady thing again, so I got my kitchen sink emptied. I haven't shined it yet, but that is my goal for tomorrow. I'm taking babysteps here, folks. If I can get myself moving instead of sitting and letting things happen, I feel much better about things. So what if I only accomplish emptying the dishwasher? The point is that I have done something! I'm not going to let this stupid depression win. I'm going to fight it and I'm going to get the better of it in the end. So take that, depression!

So, that's life with Jaye today. I'm actually looking forward to seeing what tomorrow brings!

Pondering Diet Colas...

Girl worker at lunch also absorbing California sunshine, Douglas Aircraft Company, Long Beach, Calif. (LOC)
Originally uploaded by The Library of Congress

I wouldn't say I'm addicted to diet cola, but sometimes I crave cola (diet or not). Those times are usually when I am under a lot of stress and the cola seems to help to lessen that stress. It also helps with my migraines too. Sometimes the caffeine is the kick that I need to get over the migraine. Weird, I know.

Anyway, I've known for awhile that the cola isn't good for my teeth (I'm really prone to cavities), and a conversation with a co-worker got me thinking today. He mentioned that he noticed I drink a lot of Diet Coke (I wouldn't say it's a lot, but he saw me drinking it two days in a row, so whatever!). He said that the aspartame wasn't good for you, etc. I did some web searching tonight and basically skimmed a few websites for information. It looks like there are two opposing camps in the diet cola debate--one says it's fine and the other says it's not. So, which camp is right? It would probably be smart to see who is funding which camp before coming to a definitive conclusion.

Be that as it may, since I'm trying to be healthier anyway, I'm going to take a huge step and try to cut cola in general and diet pop in particular from my diet. That's right, I'm going to have to start drinking coffee or tea if I want to get my caffeine fix and since I hate coffee, well, you get the idea, I'm basically going to try to cut caffeine out. Yikes! It's do-able, right? I won't fall to pieces without my caffeine fix, right? I can get through a day without it...maybe.

Wish me luck, my friends, wish me luck!