Friday, April 17, 2009

My Depression Rant

Mrs. Edwards & Frl. Kussin [boxing] (LOC)
Originally uploaded by The Library of Congress

I didn't intend for my blog to focus on my depression, but today it is. I'm just frustrated today. Depression is like your shadow, it always is there. It never leaves you alone. And when everything is going along fine that's when depression suddenly sticks its foot out to trip you up. Whamo! It's always sudden too. One minute you could be happy as a lark and the next moment you want to cry for no real reason. I hate that. I wish there was a way to be cured from this stupid condition because I'm so over it.

My day was a little rough, but I was doing OK until I came home from work. That's when I just started to feel like I couldn't handle things any more. Now I'm sitting here procrastinating doing my Wii Fit workout because I feel so lousy. Yes, I know working out would probably make me feel better, but right now the amount of energy required to get up and do it feels overwhelming.

OK, I did it. I surprised myself and even when it seemed like I couldn't get my balance board charged, I didn't give up (the thought did cross my mind though!). I did the short body test and then went right to my rhythmic boxing. I got my highest score ever tonight :) Boxing is a great stress relief. Not only am I moving, I'm also getting out my agressions without actually hitting anything or anyone. I really got my heart pumping while boxing tonight. I won't say I feel fantastic, but I feel better than I did before. It was only 13 minutes of exercise, but it made a difference.

So here's something for me to ponder: If a little bit of exercise made a difference, what would a lot of exercise do? Could it improve my depression a lot? I've been fairly consistent with the exercise for 20 days now. It will be interesting to see if my depression improves over time as I exercise more consistently.

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